bizarre

Intel exec's bizarre memo about LeBron and Miami

There's something about LeBron James that makes many people want to dream of taking their pugilistic talents to his manicured eyebrows.

I wonder, though, what some employees of Intel might be feeling after they read a memo reportedly posted on an internal company site and written by one of the company's executives.

This memo was purloined in clandestine fashion by those sporting opportunists at Deadspin and it will surely have many a literary agent leaping furiously to the executive's side to offer him a non-fiction contract and possibly a speaking tour.

The memo is all about what Intel can learn from the Miami Heat's loss in the NBA finals to the Dallas Mavericks. It doesn't start well. The executive declares himself to be a Los Angeles Lakers fan, which is the equivalent of saying you love that oft-bland meat, chicken.

It doesn't drift into acceptability when he claims a passion for sporting metaphors transported to business.

Here is a sample of his sage advice: "In Miami's case, their great talent just couldn't come together and collaborate with clarity of roles, responsibilities, and the ability to adjust to critical game situations to achieve success under pressure."

Well, yes. Either that or Dallas played better or were coached better, had a more interesting, dynamic owner, or merely had deity on its side.

Such theories do not hold water with this searing analysis that sees John Madden lock lips with Lee Iacocca.

"Sometimes greatness is just flat out who can step up when the pressure is the greatest," he wrote. I am sure I once heard Donald Trump say that on "The Celebrity Apprentice." I am sure he said it while referring to himself.

The Intel exec's analysis can't quite resist any level of sporting intellectualism. There is the searing revelation that sometimes someone with a 3.0 GPA can deliver better under pressure than someone with a 3.8.

Then there's this: "Teams having too much of a specific attribute at the expense of another doesn't provide you with the best of the full spectrum anymore than an orchestra could get with having only great flutists."… Read more

Man rescued after losing cell phone down toilet

Men make mistakes. Then they try to rectify them. Which might be mistake number two.

Who cannot sympathize with a man from the Jiangsu province in China whose cell phone sadly disappeared into the toilet?

ITN News doesn't record quite how the cell phone managed to disappear down where the blue goldfish swim, but what seems clear is that the man tried to reach down to retrieve his vital gadget.

Unfortunately, as this footage from China News makes clear, the man ended up flushed with embarrassment, as his arm became wedged in a place where it is unwise to … Read more

Laptop thief backs up victim's data, mails it to him

In the more dog-eating-dog quarters of the world, Sweden is sometimes mocked for being a namby-pamby welfare state.

Sometimes, though, caring for one's fellow man is beautiful just for its own sake.

So please may we rejoice at the tale of an anonymous Swedish professor who had his laptop stolen.

How can having one's laptop stolen possibly bring us to a happy conclusion? Did someone find his laptop and return it to him? No. Did someone catch the thief and, in a fit of justice, remove all the Pirate Bay stickers from his laptop? Again, no.

However as Swedish news source The Local would have it, … Read more

Man marries animated pillow

Sometimes, love is two-dimensional. Especially, it seems, for men.

I never thought I would be able to write a more moving headline than "Man marries video game character." But here we are, gathered today, to celebrate the union between Lee Jin-gyu and a pillow.

Yes, it has taken a mere three and a half months for the video character betrothal to seem nothing more than cheap publicity for stunted minds.

What is so very beautiful and exciting about this union is that the husband can take his new bride anywhere. I have, indeed, embedded a little footage of the happy couple at the amusement park, strapped in for what promises to be a wild ride.

The bride, you see, is called Fate Testarossa. It would be beneath me to suggest that she is built for speed. Indeed, she seems from the footage to offer a comforting and reassuring presence in a world that has clearly gone beyond any normal definitions of insanity.

Fate Testarossa is a magical character in the Japanese anime series "Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha." And she is imprinted on this "dakimakura" pillow in a most lifelike, serene representation.… Read more

preGAME 06: God of War III

This week on preGAME, hosts Jeff Bakalar and Mark Licea take a sneak peek at God of War III! Join us as we play it live on the show and talk to the game's lead designer, Todd Papy. We chat with Todd about wrapping up Kratos' epic saga, some of the new elements found in the game, and pushing the PlayStation 3 to its limits.

But before the demo, we kick off with some headlines that include a breaking announcement about a new game in the Rock Band franchise. That's right; Rock Band 3 will be hitting consoles … Read more

Leg extensions turn humans into horses

The notion of horse legs for humans just seemed strange to me--until I saw longshot Mine That Bird's gorgeously graceful sprint to the finish in Saturday's Run for the Roses. Now I sort of get why a human would want to approximate equine movement. Such strength, such speed, such hooves.

Seattle artist Kim Graham says her Digitigrade Leg Extensions "give a person the uncanny and graceful appearance of an animal." Granted, they don't look all that comfortable, though the artist insists it takes just 10 to 15 minutes of walking to get used to them. … Read more

Turn your living room into a gym

It's usually a sign that we need to visit the gym when we start noticing items about odd and over-the-top fitness equipment. And, in this case, both categories apply.

The "Kinesis Personal," according to Cool Hunting, is a "soft gymnastics" apparatus that touts a "tri-dimensional movement system" and claims to make 200 exercise positions possible. (That's about 196 more than we need.) But we're most amused by its description as "blending seamlessly into homes," as well as offices or hotel rooms. We'd love to meet their interior designers.… Read more